Insane; Misery Save Me.

Misery save me.

I’m lost, left strayed.

Darkness has all the answers.

I just need to trade in my empty soul.

It’s crippled and slow like my prey on the floor.

Stop rushing, stop rushing.

Grubs, you’re not moving anywhere.

Misery save me. Control my madness.

I don’t want to stay sane. I’m corrupted and torn.

Stop pulling weights, stop pulling these weights.

I’m falling far behind. My feet are sore.

I’m running with boils that fester, bubble.

Misery save me. Try harder, try harder.

These stones are too heavy. I’m bounded to the ground.

The immensity of your pain; I want it. I need it!

I’ll eat it, and shred it. Chop you and gorge you.

Darkness take me.

I know misery will save me.

Happiness is feeble. It’s weak, and it’s fake,

Just like the reflection on that red blood lake.

I swallow and gulp down, look down on the pond.

Stop flowing, stop flowing.

The stream runs too fast.

I’m staying crazed. Serenity don’t plead.

I enjoy this rotten meal.

Misery save me.

Stay floating, stay floating.

Don’t drag me out. I’m comfortable in hell.

Misery save me from rapture. Feed me more.

I don’t want to smile again,

Don’t want to feel again.

Misery save me. Don’t let me go.

Share me your noxious waste.

I’ll taste the poison only to live and feed again.

- nkmdoza.

Phoenix.

The sun is hot, but it’s not summer that burns me up.

Waves try to cool me with water you gathered with the cup.

I’m emitting rays of heat from the flames that you’ve started.

With red burning candles, I aim for the target.

The flustering fire rises to the sky leaving ashes behind,

Darkening the world with coal making you blind.

You boil to the ground like hot melting wax,

With whipping scars of the burns that I stained on your backs.

My red ruby stares forces you to beg for your death,

As you try to outrun the bird, but instead lose your breath.

Heat stroke strikes you as I fly over your head.

My wings surround you while I peck at your leg,

As my sign of revenge after breaking my egg.

My beak yells out screeches that deafens your ears,

Your eyes begin to burn from the sizzling tears.

And air from my lungs scorches your corpse.

Your life was endless before it reached my torch.

-nkmdoza

Disorder.

It eats you, but you do not eat.
Stomach burns: I am full.
Stand straight, inspect.
What is that? Skin. It mocks you.
You stare at an exaggerated copy.
See yourself in front of you: Disappear.
Weight...Wait: I want to be there.
How? Disappear.
You have no energy. It has been consumed.
But you do not consume.
Stare. Keep walking up the stairs,
And sweat. Wet, glands are wet.
Fork, spoon, diet. Die yet?
Plate. Is it too late? I see two pancakes.
One at the table. I left it there.
Days and days, and empty trays.
Trace. I see a trace. You have left crumbs:
Don't worry. I leave crumbs too. Big ones.
An ant crawls: A feast for you.
It nibbles at you, slowly strips you down.
But you do not nibble.
Second pancake. It's in front of you.
And you stare again at your copy,
Thinking: I need to strip down.
Heavy, too heavy: My mind, full.
Nothing fits. Slimness: I need to be slim.
Light, too light: My head, light.
You stand on a scale: I weigh too much.
No, you don't weigh enough.

-nkmdoza

Beautiful Marks and Beautiful Scars.

Let yourself fall if it hits you,

Let yourself bleed if it stabs you,

Let yourself cry, laugh, sink and soar,

Whether it betrays you or warms up your smile,

Pulls you down or brings you back to life,

Because love leaves beautiful marks and beautiful scars;

A reminder of how remarkable it feels to truly love someone,

And how even more remarkable it is to have the will, the strength, the courage,

To get through the pain when love fades away, but still be happy enough to accept

That love happens without forgetting to bring both the good and the disastrous.

So welcome love. If it leaves, willingly say goodbye and welcome it back peacefully

When love decides to come to you and start anew.

-nkmdoza.

Smashing Windows, Yelling Curses.

Smashing windows with bone-crushed hands.
Yelling curses of dangerous demands.
Tight-strained throats releases hate.
I’m punching rage without a clean slate.

Smashing windows with red glass hands.
Yelling curses of held back demands.
Unused vocals whispers debate.
I’m sticking out needles to betray horrid fate.

Smashing windows with stone fist hands.
Yelling curses of midnight demands.
Compressed lungs will not wait.
I’m using strings to put you in puppet state.

Smashing windows with sweat gland hands.
Yelling curses of persistent demands.
Worn out voices sustain to accumulate.
I’m trampling the avenue to the retribution gate.

-nkmdoza.

Days That Came Without You.

Those days that came without you,
Made my pale, silk skin blue.
I waited out in the desperate cold,
As my breaking fingers began to fold.
I laid down beneath the bushes,
While the branches whipped out lashes.
The grabbing thorns clung to my despair,
Leaving my body naked and bare.
I searched for the sun to keep me warm,
But I kept getting caught in the storm.
My deranged head began to pulse,
Forsaken hit me with crude convulse.
I fell to the floor with faithful lust,
Aware that I would soon turn to dust.
You deserted me in this desolate sphere.
To preserve myself I chose not to persevere.
But I’m followed by your ghostly phantom.
Echoes of chuckling conceit clogged my eardrum.
Liberating rescue stabbed me with his sword.
Delicate independence has been ignored.
So I became a statue with eager patience.
Regardless of your absent presence,
I wait for lying words to be true,
Only to live the days that came without you.

-nkmdoza.

Lingers and Tingles.

You linger, I tingle.
Your touch invades. You make your own way,
And trace my whole body, discomfort remains.

Lingers and tingles,
My muffled yells, your expressive moans.
My dry throat swells from agony yelled.

Lingers and tingles,
I felt your sweat as your stench filled the air.
You heard my cries, but instead licked my tears.

Lingers and tingles,
I got you hot with stolen heat that my body gave out.
I scratched your back. You felt the rush and scratched me back.

Lingers and tingles,
The aggression starts. I feel the bite on my ear.
You have a smirk on your face as you see me in fear.

Lingers and tingles,
My legs were paralyzed with my arms tied up.
My voice was absent, but my screams were there.

Lingers and tingles,
I was heard by no one, except by the shadow of Satan.
His laughter roared as he took control and demanded more.

You linger, I tingle.
I pushed away and you tore off my clothes.
I felt defeated, until you went in and trespassed my soul.

- nkmdoza.