Smashing Windows, Yelling Curses.

Smashing windows with bone-crushed hands.
Yelling curses of dangerous demands.
Tight-strained throats releases hate.
I’m punching rage without a clean slate.

Smashing windows with red glass hands.
Yelling curses of held back demands.
Unused vocals whispers debate.
I’m sticking out needles to betray horrid fate.

Smashing windows with stone fist hands.
Yelling curses of midnight demands.
Compressed lungs will not wait.
I’m using strings to put you in puppet state.

Smashing windows with sweat gland hands.
Yelling curses of persistent demands.
Worn out voices sustain to accumulate.
I’m trampling the avenue to the retribution gate.

-nkmdoza.

Days That Came Without You.

Those days that came without you,
Made my pale, silk skin blue.
I waited out in the desperate cold,
As my breaking fingers began to fold.
I laid down beneath the bushes,
While the branches whipped out lashes.
The grabbing thorns clung to my despair,
Leaving my body naked and bare.
I searched for the sun to keep me warm,
But I kept getting caught in the storm.
My deranged head began to pulse,
Forsaken hit me with crude convulse.
I fell to the floor with faithful lust,
Aware that I would soon turn to dust.
You deserted me in this desolate sphere.
To preserve myself I chose not to persevere.
But I’m followed by your ghostly phantom.
Echoes of chuckling conceit clogged my eardrum.
Liberating rescue stabbed me with his sword.
Delicate independence has been ignored.
So I became a statue with eager patience.
Regardless of your absent presence,
I wait for lying words to be true,
Only to live the days that came without you.

-nkmdoza.

Lingers and Tingles.

You linger, I tingle.
Your touch invades. You make your own way,
And trace my whole body, discomfort remains.

Lingers and tingles,
My muffled yells, your expressive moans.
My dry throat swells from agony yelled.

Lingers and tingles,
I felt your sweat as your stench filled the air.
You heard my cries, but instead licked my tears.

Lingers and tingles,
I got you hot with stolen heat that my body gave out.
I scratched your back. You felt the rush and scratched me back.

Lingers and tingles,
The aggression starts. I feel the bite on my ear.
You have a smirk on your face as you see me in fear.

Lingers and tingles,
My legs were paralyzed with my arms tied up.
My voice was absent, but my screams were there.

Lingers and tingles,
I was heard by no one, except by the shadow of Satan.
His laughter roared as he took control and demanded more.

You linger, I tingle.
I pushed away and you tore off my clothes.
I felt defeated, until you went in and trespassed my soul.

- nkmdoza.

Spitting Venom.

He spits venom on reckless minds.
The sly snake chokes me,
And strangles me with lies.
Its fangs pierce me,
It goes deep into my skin.
The deceit, it burns me.
It eats me up inside,
With delusions enforced,
That confuses my mind.
The bite worsens, the saliva stings.
I become unfocused.
With no sense of direction,
I see hallucinations.
With every terrifying scare,
I know they aren't real.
But I beg to the snake,
To save me from fear.
He grabs my face,
And with my eyes traumatized,
He smirks at this sight,
And reassures me it's alright.
I know it's a lie,
But this pain I can't bear.
I let him spit his venom,
Though I know it's his plan.
To relieve me from terror,
Only to bite me again.
With every hiss of his mouth,
I am tangled in his tongue.
The snake, it whispers,
I believe it each time.
His words, so poisonous.
His venom is strong.
I tried sucking out the poison,
And tasted the truth.
This concoction that was sweet,
Like sugar in my mouth,
Was all but a trap.
This venom is now bitter,
But it lingers in my mouth.
He spits on my face,
And kills me with his shrieks,
Oh how naive I was.
This traitor was unnoticed.
He spits his words of venom,
And watches you crumble.
He watches you ache,
Then laughs when you break.
And shoots out his final words.
As venom drips from his lips.
He'll whisper you cruelty,
So tyrant and betraying.
He will admit all his lies,
Then confess his one truth.
You are pathetic and weak.
You were your own bait to my plan.
I got what I wanted,
And now I'm moving on,
To someone as foolish,
As senseless as you.
So he finds a new prey,
And reels her in,
With whispers of his tongue,
Spitting venom of lies.

-nkmdoza.

Last Day of High School.

Drastic changes, confused faces fill the hallways of school.
The final day has come to us and yet we‘re unaware,
That soon it is time to leave behind all the things we know.
In the caf we sit and talk, taking pictures of this moment,
Of all the students laughing and everyone actually getting along.
Empty yearbooks with white blank pages
Are covered with what we’ve written,
With messages that make us smile and makes us warm inside.
They sign their names with joy and hope,
Forgetting that we may not remember,
The friendship that we shared when we were all together.
Three bells have rung with pens held in our hands.
And yearbooks on our lap, we don’t bother to go to class.
Friends run around exchanging books,
Looking for space to write.
Overlapping other messages just to write good luck.
Then there are novels filling up spaces,
That cover the entire book.
These are the ones that make us cry,
Because we know soon it’ll be goodbye.
But even as the day is over and we have our final walk,
In our minds we see that we’ll always keep in touch.
We begin to study for exams as we worry about our marks.
Forgetting about the day we spent until we need a break,
From the reviews we made and the notes we studied,
That will be on tomorrows test.
But at that moment, we don’t care and begin to look at pictures.
We stare at the memories and see how we’ve grown,
Throughout the years of high school.
The end we rather not face, we try to clear our minds.
But distraction stays as time runs out,
So we call our friends to cheer us up,
And soon we’re all so happy.
Until we leave the phone and think in our heads,
We may lose each other soon.
I check the time it’s a minute to twelve,
And I count down to when the day ends.
The clock changes, and I smile,
Thinking of how proud we are.
I lie down in my bed until it hit me at midnight,
That this time, it really is farewell.

-nkmdoza.

Not Even Gravity.

Not even gravity.
No gravity can’t.
It can’t for I refuse,
To fall in love with you.
I’ll not let it happen,
I’ve already loved once.
I don’t need to repeat,
My defeat again.
The cuts on my knee,
Bitter taste of my blood,
Oh how it pained me ,
When I fell on the ground.
That hard, cold pavement,
With its rough edges that tore,
The seams of my dress,
As gravity caught up,
With me and you.
It sneaked up behind me,
And pushed without notice.
I tried to stay up,
But I lost all my balance.
Gravity you’re strong,
But not strong enough.
I’m tougher than your force,
I’ll not fall for this boy.
The air that choked me,
As I flew in the sky,
It left me unspoken.
It left me all lost.
Had to find my way,
To reach to you again.
But gravity you did this,
You made me descend,
For someone who’s weak.
He could not hold on.
He let go of my arm,
And left me to drop.
The trauma I felt,
After falling so hard,
Left me lying on my back.
I could not get up,
And there were none to help me,
I stayed there so helpless,
As I struggled to stand.
Now I’m back up again.
Until I met another,
He tries to pull me in.
I fight with myself.
So I tie a string around,
Hoping it will help me,
Win this love tug-of-war.
I will not be dragged.
Stop pulling me in,
I’m pushing you out.
Won’t let gravity do this.
I won’t get attached.
Although I’ve once fallen.
I’m standing firm on the ground.
Gravity you can try again,
Trip me and shove me,
Never will it work.
I’ve learned from the last time.
I may tip over,
I may start to lean,
Become dizzy and lose focus,
But that wont be enough,
To make me fall over.
No gravity can’t.
I will not let you.
I won’t get trapped.
You’ll be forced to stop.
My heart won’t get stolen,
I’ll not dry my eyes,
For no tears will drip,
Down my pale, soft skin,
That you tried to rough up,
With your push of steel.
No, not you gravity.
Not even gravity,
Can force me into this.
You can’t force me to love.
Not even gravity can force me,
To fall again.

-nkmdoza

No Longer Your Lover.

Answers I desire, but none you do offer.
I guess I am your unspoken lover.
I cry, then I weep and soon you'll act so sweet.
However , deep down I know you're still a cheat.
'I love you, I need you', is what you seem to plead.
But when I ask if you're certain, I don't hear a peep.
This voice I don't hear confesses so much more,
Of the truth I desperately wish for.
I tell you to show me, not speak of love.
I try to calm down so I look above.
Put in some effort, I start to say.
'I wish I was strong', I begin to pray.
He doesn't express, and I'm no longer impressed.
The boy has been caught, so he does not talk.
It is then I'm convinced, and I start to walk.
Answers I desired, but none you did offer.
I guess I am no longer your lover.

-nkmdoza

Our First Christmas, My Favourite Holiday.

Snow, snow falling down.
Falling lightly on the ground.
Wind blows, mistletoe shakes.
Lips tickle my nose and makes my belly ache.
Christmas day, and my lover stays.
We rush off to dinner, so we won't be late.
There's a pot roast and chestnuts too.
Mash potatoes and cookies for you.

After we're done, we put on our scarves.
Then out we go and run across so far.
A chilly frost, ice thickly freezes.
We put on our skates while I give him kisses.
Hoping not to fall, I slide to win races.
But I slip and I trip, and bring him down with me.
We yell in pain, then laugh at our faces.
He hugs me so tight, and I do the same.

He says fate has brought us together this Christmas.
I cant help but to feel so excited about it.
His hand in his pockets, he takes out a box.
I opened it up , and he sees me so shocked.
I begin to smile. I love it so much.
Inside is a locket with a snowflake engraved.
He says, a reminder of our first Christmas,
My favourite holiday.

-nkmdoza.

Faded Memories Try So Hard.

Memories, memories, flow through my head.
Unforgotten memories that dwell though they're dead.
They are the only things that last forever.
Life keeps changing, but my feelings wont ever.
At night I dream the same dream on my bed.
The things I wish to remain has just begun to misled.
The past stays within me, and so I wish to flee,
Without realizing my escape does not free,
Myself from all the things that cannot be.
What life has to offer, I cannot believe.
Growth and acceptance I must achieve.
And during my journey I hope to see,
A life worth the change that changes me.
Faded memories try so hard to make old lives a reality.
But somehow I've figured that's no longer a possibility.
The past must not linger, even if memories last forever.
Because faded memories try so hard.

- nkmdoza

Heartless Woman.

I’m a heartless woman made of stone.
I sneak up behind you and extend a chill that freezes your soul.
The cold air grabs you and releases the vile,
Of poisonous toxins that collides with your veins.
It kills all your thoughts and replaces it with lies.
Misleads you into my deceiving games of the mind.
Like a gargoyle you’re a statue, standing tall until I arrive.
Making assumptions of control and power that I hide.
And with no effort I’m the vulture and you’re the pathetic prey.
I take what you have, and feed from your fearful doubt.
Until you give in whispering a prayer, refusing to let out a shout.
Like a gargoyle, I’m a monster nailing you to the ledge.
You cannot leave, you’re confined to bars made of lead.
No chains around your ankles, but you choose to stay behind.
Doing as you’re told, hoping I’ll soon have a heart.
But with no compassion , my words whip you with sharp throbbing wounds.
Burns that you tolerate fires and heats you with rising flames.
It damages the nerves, but no smoky ashes will appear.
Instead the scars stains you with grim black ink,
That darkens the cuts that won't seem to cleanse.
There’s a hole in your head that I drilled in with force.
I’ve gotten so deep, your sanity withholds and won’t dig me out.
I remain in your head, your dreams and your hate.
You attempt to throw out my memory but instead recollects.
My image reappears and tugs on you slightly.
And once again, you’re my slave of filth and grime.
My commands they tear you, my demands they do scare.
I’m cruel and it stings. It’s like pricks on your thighs,
With needles on your sides. It goes in deep with red dripping thin.
And they twist you like vines and pulls knots on your skin.
Flesh is scraped off from the long nails of my hands.
Toenails infected from the kicks that I swing,
When I hit you so hard and your heart escapes to the ground.
I’m not a keeper but you keep me in bound.
Until by a river you pick up the fallen beats that ripple the water,
With unfitted pieces of stones that grow cold and heavy,
From the heartless woman who hollowed your heart.

- nkmdoza.